“Bohemian Riverdale” to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody”
From the writer who brought you “‘Joaquin’ to the tune of ‘Jolene’” & “‘Ronnie’s Dad’ to the tune of ‘Stacy’s Mom.’”
Because “Riverdale” and “rhapsody” have the same number of syllables.
Betty:
Why do I feel this?
Is it heredity?
Caught in the darkness
No escape from paternity
Dad’s the Black Hood,
He’s really no good, and me?
The killer’s daughter, from Northside bourgeoisie
It’s true I tortured Chuck, I was stressed
Now I’m worse, I’ve progressed
Left Chic in a graveyard, I wish I were like him: set free, set free
Veronica:
Daddy, not who I thought
Yes it’s true you were in jail
You served time to no avail
Daddy, no more secret plans
Why can’t you just be normal for one day?
Daddy, oooh
You’ve disgraced the name of Lodge
You know Mom didn’t want to run for Mayor
Now she’s won, now she’s won, I blame meager voter turnout
Archie:
This year, there’s no guitar
No more football on the team
I’ve abandoned all my dreams
Goodbye education, goodbye to lunch
Could’ve dated way more girls if I’d had time
Hiram, oooh
You expect a lot
I missed a class to try and make my mob bones
Jughead:
Just ‘cause I ride a motorcycle around town
Doesn’t mean, doesn’t mean that I’m one of you Serpents
Dog sitting and gang laws, hand caught between snake jaws, ow
Southside Serpents, Southside Serpents
Southside Serpents, Southside Serpents,
Southside Serpents made me King―but I’m sixteen
Cheryl:
I want a girlfriend, the lead role in Carrie,
Control of this house with a signed guarantee
And Mumsy dead, that’s not hyperbole
Evil nuns locked me up, waiting for backup
Conversion! They’re still keeping me locked up―where’s backup?
Conversion! They’re keeping me locked up―where’s backup?
Conversion! They’re keeping me locked up―where’s backup?
Keeping me locked up―where’s backup?
Hey, I’m still locked up―where’s backup?
Hey, I’m still locked up
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh Toni Topaz, Toni Topaz, Toni Topaz is backup!
Veronica said something, but I’m kissing To-ni,
To-ni
To-ni!
Archie:
So you think you can get between me and my dad?
So you think you can get back the fealty you had?
O-oh, Hiram, you must not know where I’m from
They’ll never arrest, they’ll never arrest me ‘round here
Veronica:
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Now I’m not an heiress
But I do own Pop’s
Now I’m not an heiress, though I’m not an heiress, I’m rich
Betty:
Left Chic in a graveyard…
Why does this not have more notes? this is a masterpiece. i just sang the whole thing and it’s perfect
You’re my new favourite person, @yikes-sweetpea lol Thank you for appreciating this! It ain’t easy, reworking Queen.
deitydoq